Available for the first time in the United States, this international bestseller reveals the secrets of nonverbal communication to give you confidence. Available for the first time in the United States, this international bestseller reveals the secrets of nonverbal communication to give you confidence and control in. The Definitive Book of Body Language: Summary & PDF. September 15, By Lucio Buffalmano Leave a Comment. The Definitive Book of Body Language.
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Allan and Barbara Pease are the internationally renowned experts in human relations and body language, whose 20 million book sales world- wide have turned. The definitive book of body language. Home · The The Body Language of Liars . Read more The Tale Of The Body Thief (Vampire Chronicles, Book 4). Downloads. tool with you! The ability to read body language will be useful to you for the rest of your life The B.. The Definitive Book of Body Language.
The Definitive Book of Body Language is an endless well of information on how to read and decode body language. We quickly assess their friendliness, dominance and whether they are a potential sexual partner. And we do it primarily with nonverbals. Words are used primarily for conveying information and body language for negotiating interpersonal attitudes. Barbara and Allan Pease say that Most people are unaware of the body language signals they send out. Female intuition is particularly evident in women who have raised children, and men in nurturing occupations such artistic types, actors or nursing did almost as good as women.
The serious downside is that there is a lot of assertions made in the book with very little evidence and what evidence there is tends to fall back on one study or one anecdotal example which leaves one wondering quite how generally applicable the guidance is, particularly outside of the UK. On the other hand having been the retreating party when talking with somebody whose notions of allowable personal space where much smaller than mine view spoiler [ from a distance and at the incorrect angle it must have looked as though we were dancing the quickstep hide spoiler ] , I wish that this book was read more widely - I eventually ended up backed up against a wall trapped by a water cooler feeling distinctly unamused.
View all 34 comments. View all 4 comments. View all 6 comments. Jun 16, Amir Tesla rated it really liked it Shelves: Since childhood, I've always fantasized having the superpower of mind reading and ever since being exposed to a diverse set of materials on body language I can assert that I've actually cultivated some skills in this vain: This book by Allan Peace is the bible of the body language books and reference to many results you see when you google about this topic and covers a wide and thorough spectrum of topics.
Here are some exciting skills and insights you will acquire after consuming the book a Since childhood, I've always fantasized having the superpower of mind reading and ever since being exposed to a diverse set of materials on body language I can assert that I've actually cultivated some skills in this vain: Here are some exciting skills and insights you will acquire after consuming the book and applying its knowledge: You will be able to tell if someone is genuinely agreed with you or simply is faking so.
It would be easier for you to see if someone is lying or hiding something. When to tell if your message being conveyed and that your subjects are open and receptive to your arguments. How to use body language to power up your position, radiate a dominant outlook and literally be more effective. You can tell if someone is interested in you or others. In the book, there are lots of mistakes pointed out to be avoided in business situations and especially has a lot of advice for women to obtain a more firm stance in their meetings.
And much more interesting topics If you desire to consume more advanced topics in this subject, I'd also recommend: Paul Ekman Jul 07, Maureen Forys rated it did not like it. Aside from there being misinformation scattered about, Napoleon wasn't 5'4", George W Bush didn't get his first passport when he became president the authors completely rely on logical fallacies to prove their points. They make huge sweeping generalizations they said Britain, Germany, etc.
And also that heavy smokers haven't been breast-fed whereas non smokers have been and completely lost their cred Aside from there being misinformation scattered about, Napoleon wasn't 5'4", George W Bush didn't get his first passport when he became president the authors completely rely on logical fallacies to prove their points.
And also that heavy smokers haven't been breast-fed whereas non smokers have been and completely lost their credibility. Then the gender differences they pointed out always seemed to paint women in an unforgiving light, to say the least. You can get all the basic information via Google and spare yourself the sensationalized sweeping generalizations. View all 11 comments. Apr 15, imane rated it it was amazing Shelves: Aug 05, Ellen Maze rated it really liked it Recommends it for: People Watchers.
As an author, I am naturally a student of observation, so this book had the potential to be of great service to me not only in my writing, but in character-building and expression. I enjoyed the read. Unlike some other Body Language books, this one has a lot of photographs, and at the risk of sounding sophomoric, they really added to my understanding of the text.
I think everyone who As an author, I am naturally a student of observation, so this book had the potential to be of great service to me not only in my writing, but in character-building and expression.
I think everyone who reads this book will have their eyes opened, and begin to read body language everywhere they go. The only thing that bugged me was that the authors used evolution to explain much of the human's use of body language.
I didn't find their theories believable, and evolution explanations really weren't necessary. I would expect some reference to the ape-man, Neanderthal, etc, but these authors referred to them with a fervor akin to proselytizing.
This shortcoming is the only thing that held me back from leaving 5-stars. Skimming those sections was easy, and the book is well worth the read and the download price.
View 2 comments. Jul 27, Gabriela rated it it was amazing. Allan Pease and Barbara Pease apply their experience in medicine, biology and psychology to illustrate the workings of the brain and how this influences our body language. In the Definite Book Of Body Language, the authors show us how we can use our knowledge of the brain's functions to understand people's emotions and behaviors. I have to say that neuropsychology and behavioral science have always fascinated me.
There are many books out there about these topics. But I found this one particularly Allan Pease and Barbara Pease apply their experience in medicine, biology and psychology to illustrate the workings of the brain and how this influences our body language.
But I found this one particularly interesting as it covered real life examples which you could see yourself applying or identify body language behavior and what the other person in communicating.
The authors have used real life examples and offer various exercises that you can undertake to practice reading people's emotions and behaviors. I would recommend this one to everyone really. Whether you are interviewer, a manager, a teacher, businessperson, someone looking for a job, or for a partner, this book can help you understand other people's behavior and perhaps overcome communicational barriers.
It does serve as a great premier especially if you are not entirely familiar with the psychology of body language. This book was very difficult to rate. On one hand, it's a pretty comprehensive guide of human gestures and postures, aided in their understanding by suggestive illustrations.
On the other hand, I kept getting the feeling that the authors were trying really, really hard to sell me a commercial version of body language.
Often, things were exaggeratedly emphasized in a clickbaity way and I would not have been surprised to see chapter titles such as: Searching for information about the authors, I see that neither of them is a psychologist or scientist of any kind. They're just really, really good salespeople who've found their niche.
That makes me a bit skeptical about the validity of the interpretations they offer. There are other clues that make me doubt the content. One is the studies cited at the end. The book often contained phrases such as "studies show" or "research says". However, if I wanted to read about the study mentioned in chapter X, point Y, and flipped the pages to the end of the book, surprise!
Instead of showing the research in the order it is cited, it is shown alphabetically. That means that I have to wade through a few hundred cited sources to see which applies and I am pretty sure this was done on purpose.
The other objection I have with the studies is that most of them are from the 70s. The newest ones are from A few other things bothered me. One was the "old gramps who's trying to be hip" cringe humor.
The second was the outdated examples and references - it really shows that the book hasn't been edited for a newer audience, but is still stuck somewhere in the 80ss in mentality too. Then there were the problems I had encountered in the previous body language book I had read, although to a lesser extent here.
First, the book had a really strong emphasis on man vs man or man vs woman relationships. Second, there were very few references to woman vs woman relationships. What about female friends? Is the notion that alien? Third, all the interactions between men and women were interpreted in a sexual manner. What about the young man arguing with the old woman in the bus over the position of the window? I bet the authors would say that the opening and closing of the window is a suggestive sexual allusion or whatever.
More so, women were seen as always submissive in their gestures in a man's presence. I'm not going to go into that. Fourth, men were also presented as some sort of primitive grunting beasts ready to jump at each other's throats OK, I am exaggerating, but the authors did seem to see them as very simplistic beings incapable of any kind of complex thoughts.
I find this particularly insulting. All in all, this was another book I used as research for the series I am writing. The best thing about it is that a it's comprehensive there are even chapters about mirroring another person's body language or height differences or seating positions and b it has useful illustrations.
I recommend it to other aspiring writers, just be careful to take it with a grain of salt. As a bonus, checking this book, I realize that my characters' body language has been pretty well-written, just too detailed and hard to follow at points.
Feb 07, Mary rated it liked it Recommended to Mary by: Mary Thorley and some blog? I rarely read every word of non-fiction books, but this is one of the rare exceptions. It's not even particularly fascinating. But it is interesting enough to hold my attention without skipping or skimming over anything.
Subordinates are more likely to smile in the presence of dominant and superior people, both in friendly and unfriendly situations. Superior people instead smile around subordinate people only in friendly situations. The superior person will also make subordinates laugh but without laughing himself -or laughing less- as a way to maintain his superiority. Barbara and Allan Pease say we automatically copy the facial expressions we see in other people.
Science has indeed proven that the more you smile, the more positive reactions others will give you. Allan Pease also found out that smiling at appropriate times -such as at the beginning of a negotiation-, produces positives responses on both sides of the table leading to higher sales ratio and more successful outcomes.
Tight-Lipped Smile The authors say the lips form a straight line and the teeth are concealed. These people often talk about general rules to be successful but rarely give their details.
The Twisted Smile The Twisted smile shows opposite emotions on each side of the face. It can only be done deliberately and conveys sarcasm. Sideways-Looking-UP Smile With the head turned down and away while looking up with a tight-lipped smile. It looks secretive but in a juvenile and playful way. Laughing Makes You Happier Intentionally producing smiles and laughter will make you spontaneously happy. Smiling and Laughing to Bond Laughing is more than 30 times more likely to happen in social situations than when one is alone.
Laughter has less to do with jokes and more to do with relationships. Pictures of unsmiling men were seen as less attractive and decoded as a sign of sadness. Pictures of unsmiling men were decoded as a sign of dominance. Women should smile less with dominant men in business situations and -or mirror the amount of smile of men- and probably more in social and dating scenarios. Pease says that if men want to be more persuasive with women, they would do good to smile more in all contexts.
Laughter and Love The authors say women laugh more than men in courtship. The ability to make others laugh is a dominant trait, so the more a man can make a woman laugh, the more she will find him attractive women love dominant men and men love subordinate women.
Humor makes you attractive to women: Very interestingly, Pease say men also become annoyed when one man dominates the joke telling, particularly so when there are women around who are laughing. The men who are not laughing will think the joke teller is a jerk and not funny either. Hiding behind barriers is an innate behavior of human beings. Folding one or both arms across the chest we form a barrier as an unconscious attempt to block out threats or undesirable circumstances.
As long as someone keeps an arms folded position, a negative attitude will persist. A good idea can be then to give the person something to hold on that will lead them to unfold their arms.
For the law of cause and effect, having neutral people crossing arms in front of your chest also give you more negative thoughts about the speaker and you will retain less information. Arms crossing will also send out a message to the people around you though, and that message is likely to be negative. So the message is simple: Reinforced Arms-Crossing Clenched fists with crossed arms show hostility on top of defensiveness.
A conciliatory approach is recommended. Arm-Gripping In the Doubled Arm Grip the person tightly grips both his upper arms to further strengthen his barrier. It shows a negative, restrained attitude. Pease says that in court, the claimant maybe using a first clenched arms crossed while the defendant may have adopted the double arm grip position.
A general manager greeting new employees for example will not cross his hands and will either keep his hands to his side, behind his back superiority or in his pockets non involvement. If the GM know met a young up and coming superior type, the younger gun might cross his arm but keep his thumbs sticking out and pointing up.
The thumbs up show a positive and self confident attitude.
Also very interestingly, the authors say that defensive and submissive will be shown in symmetrical positions, while defensive and dominant will take an asymmetrical pose. Thumbs Up If the Thumbs-Up-Arms-Crossed appears towards the end of a presentation, chances are you can go ahead and ask for the order.
Hugging Ourselves Barbara and Allan Pease say we hug ourselves when are stressed or we find ourselves in tense situations. Of course our self hugs are more masked. For example one arm might reach out to the other upper arm -mostly used by women- and recreating the feeling of how their mothers held them.
But their nervousness will still often leak. For example, they might reach out with an arm to the bag on the other side, or fix their watches or bracelet, or shirt cuffs.
Women can often clasp on their purses. They can also hold it to the side, thus crossing their arm in front of their body, or hold it to the side, thus opening up. Arms and Armrest Planting your elbows on the armrest is a position of power.
Letting your arms fall on the inside of the chair is the position that humble, defeated individuals will take. Pease said that worked well because the elbow is a safe area to touch, second because touching a stranger is not considered normal so it created a powerful impression and third, the most important of all, a touch creates a momentary bond between two people.
Touching above or below the elbow did not produce the same positive effects, and touching for more than 3 seconds also had a negative response. Looking at conversation outside cafes indeed showed touches an hour in Rome, in Paris, 25 in Sindey, 4 in NY and 0 in London.
A famous experiment with a librarian slightly brushing the hand while issuing a book also had powerful effects, with the borrowers being touched responding more favorably to all the question and more likely to recall the name of the librarian.
Read also: I fully agree with Barbara and Allan Pease when they say the world is becoming more and more similar and the basics are the same almost everywhere. Pictures of happiness, anger, fear, sadness, disgust and surprise in 21 different cultures registered mostly the same responses everywhere. Japan was the exception which described fear as surprise. The biggest cultural differences exist mainly in relation to territorial space, eye contact, touch frequency and insult gestures.
Pease says that we do business with people who make as feel comfortable and it comes down to sincerity and good manners. How to Spot Which Option We Prefer Right-handed people give their favorite point of view or summarize their favorite contestant with their right hand and left handed people with their left. Rubbing Palms Rubbing the palms together is a sign of positive expectation.
A quick rub signals the person expects the benefits to be for you, Slow rubbing signals the expectation is for them to profit. Sales people are instructed to rub hands quickly indeed.
Hands Clenched Together Barbara and Allan Pease say Hands Clenched Together can be mistaken for a signal confidence as people are often seeing smiling when using it. It is though a gesture showing anxious, restrained or negative attitude.
During negotiation it can be frustration gesture signaling a negative or anxious attitude. The person using feels they are either not convincing the other person or felt like they were losing the negotiation.
The hands can be held in front of the face, on a desk on the lap or low in front of the crotch. There seem to be a correlation between height and frustration: A favorite of Angela Merkel, The steeple is frequently used in interactions between superior and subordinates and it shows a confident, self assured personality. The steeple is usually held high when speaking and held lower when listening.
Women tend to use the lower steeple more often. The steeple can also be a sign of negative confidence.
If you are delivering a presentation or a sale and the client was folding arms, crossing legs, looking away and having many hand to face gestures and then he assumes a steeple your prospect is feeling confident he will say and that he will easily get rid of you. The Face Platter Resting the face on both hands can be a gesture used by women during romantic encounters or dates. She is placing her face there for you to admire it and to attract your attention.
If you are interested in more sex signals, take a look at Undercover Sex Signals. High military, headmasters at school, royalty and policemen will usually use it. The person is fully exposing his body in a show of fearlessness. Cause and effect also applies, so if you use this pose in high stress situations you will also begin to feel confident and even authoritative. If however the person is holding his wrist behind his back it communication frustration and an attempt to self restrain, and the higher up is the grip, the higher is the frustration.
Barbara and Allan Pease say that thumbs denote superiority, and body language gestures using the thumb show self important attitudes.
Thumbs indeed are used to display dominance, assertiveness and sometimes even aggressive attitude. You will rarely see low status individuals using it. Thumbs coming out of back pockets are a bit of a tamer pose, as if the person was trying to hide the dominant attitude. Pointing at someone with the thumb is usually a gesture of ridicule and disrespect towards the person you point your thumb at.
None of the subordinate is likely to do it around the boss. You can sometimes see people with the hands in their pockets and thumbs sticking out but their arms folded. The folded arms is defensive or negative, while the thumbs out show a superior attitude. I love when Barbara and Allan Pease say that lying is the oil greasing social interactions.
Research shows that social liars are more popular than people who continually tell the truth even though we know the social liar is not being fully forthcoming. Women are Better Liars Allan and Barbara Pease say women are better at reading emotions and even better at telling lies. Lying is easier behind something that will cover part or all of your body. Behind a desk for example, peering over a fence, from behind a door or, of course, via telephone or email.
Allan and Baraba Pease here seem quite encouraging about the fact you can spot lies. This is in contrast to FBI agent Joe Navarro who takes a strong stand in saying spotting lies is notoriously difficult and unreliable.
Boredom Supporting the hand with your hands is a sign of boredom. If they want to feign interest but are starting to the bored the palm will start supporting the head. The index can rub or pull the eye if the negative thoughts persist. It can be mistaken for interest, but the difference is the supporting thumb under the chin.
Decision Making Chin stroking is a sign that a person is thinking about what to say or what to decide. Stalling Clusters People wearing glasses can take them off and put one arm of the frame in their mouth, a smoker will take a puff of smoke and someone with a pen can put the in their mouth. Putting objects in the mouth is a sign that the person feels like he needs more time and wants to delay an answer.
Head Rubbing and Slapping When someone forgot something or did a blunder they might slap their own head to communicate forgetfulness. If they slap their forehead they signal they are not intimidated by you, if they slap the back of the neck it says you are actually a pain in the neck. Habitually rubbing the back of the neck says that someone tends to be more negative or critical, while those rubbing the forehead tend to be more open and easygoing.
Barbara and Allan Pease say that women have a wider peripheral vision, men tend to have more tunnel vision. Women can look at you better without moving their eyes. Pupils Dilated pupils are a sign of attraction.
This is why lighter eyes are considered more attractive: Interestingly, people are better at decoding eye signals than they are at decoding body language.
Women are good at deciphering it, men not as much. Eyebrow Flash The Definitive Book of Body Language says that the eyebrow flash is the eyebrow raising rapidly for a split second. Eyebrow Signals Lowing the eyebrows shows dominance or aggression and raising the eyebrows shows submission.
Looking Up Barbara and Allan Pease say that lowering the head and looking up is a submissive gesture women use to appeal to men. It makes the eyes seem larger and makes the woman more childlike. Pease says that Diana made an art out of lowering her head and looking up while exposing her neck. Some women show sexual submissiveness by lowering the eyelids while simultaneously raising the eyebrows and looking up.
The Art of Seduction. This is also the expression that many women have during an orgasm. When one likes the other, he will look at him a lot. The person being looked at notices and he will likely like him in return as well. This means you should look at people a lot to make them like you.
When in foreign cultures though the best course of action is to mirror the gaze time of your host. When two people meet and make eye contact the subordinate is usually the one to look away first.
This means that not looking away is a subtle way of delivering a challenge or showing disagreement. Darting Eyes Barbara and Allan Pease say that when our eyes scan the surrounding from left to right we are looking for escape routes. Shake hands then and give the interview a seconds time window to scan you. This strategy also helped selling better. The distances tend to reduce between two women and increase between two men. When people embrace the distance they keep their hips apart gives away information about their relationship.
I also found particularly interesting that Pease says that the people who go around slapping everyone on the back is secretly disliked by everyone. When the police breaks up the crow the dynamics changes and the riot usually stops. And, the author says, this is why ares with the highest crime and violence are also areas with the highest population density. My Note: Spacing Rituals The authors say that when deciding where to seat people will usually pick the place that gives them the most space.
Cultural Differences Barbara and Allan Pease tell the story of an Italian couple in Sidney being accused of hitting on everyone at a club they joined because the Italians, coming from a smaller personal space culture, were standing too close for the Australians.
Japanese also tend to stand rather close. City dwellers also tend to have smaller spaces than country people. Or they might feel ownership of the kitchen in a house if they are using it. The Definitive Book of Body Language says that the farther away a body part is from our mind, the less awareness we have of it. Walking Styles Young and healthy people walk faster, resulting in arms swinging the most, almost if they were marching. This walking style has been adopted by politicians and public figures who want to look younger and healthy.
Influential people commanding attention walk briskly at a medium pace with medium length strides. As a rule of thumb, open or uncrossed legs show an open or dominant attitude and crossed positions reveal closed attitudes or uncertainty.
First the legs uncross, next are the arms. We can start with one arm only and flashing the palm. Then both arms uncross. Finally, one person takes the foot forward position to show acceptance of the other. American Figure Four Sitting with one leg horizontally on top of the other is the seated version a Crotch Display. Men sitting this way are perceived as more dominant, relaxed and even youthful.
Figure Four Leg Clamp Same as figure four, with the leg on top being held by the hands. It can also show uncertainty and fear.
The feet are usually withdrawn under the chair, showing that the person also has a withdrawn attitude. When people are involved in a conversation, they also put their feet into the conversation. During negotiations it means the party is holding back on a concession.
If the ankle lock happens during an interview, questions can be reasonably effecting in getting the interviewee to relax and unlock but going around the table and sitting beside them is probably most effective. Parallel Legs Parallel Legs is the most attractive seating position for a woman. Legs for Women Men will watch TV shows with female presenter for longer if she has a short dress. However, men will also remember less of what she said.
Barbara and Allan Pease say that nodding regularly in groups of three nods leads to people talking for three to four times longer than they would have normally spoken. The authors say that people will talk three to four times more than usual when the listener nods their head using groups of three nods at regular intervals. The speed of the nod signals the patience—or lack of patience—of the listener. Slow nodding communicates that the listener is interested in what the speaker is saying so give slow, deliberate clusters of three head nods when the other person is making a point.
Head Nods to Get More Information A technique to get people to talk more and give you more information is to nod your head during his answer.
After he replies, you keep nodding your head another five times with one nod per second. Pease says that by the time you counted to 4, he will usually resume speaking and give you more information. Lint Picking Looking away while picking imaginary lint is a sign of disapproval.
Hands on Hips The Definitive Book of Body Language says that placing the hands on the hips and pointing the elbows out shows readiness to dominate. One hand on the hip is similar, especially if the elbow is pointed towards the person we are issuing the challenge to. Men use it around women to display an assertive male attitude. Cowboy Stance Thumbs into the belt or in the pockets is a gesture to frame the genital area and is used mostly by men to signal a sexually aggressive attitude.
Men use this gesture to stake their territory or to show other men they mean business. If it is used while talking to women, especially with dilated pupils and a foot pointing towards her, it immediately gives the game away as to what are his intentions. Leg Over Arm Chair Mostly a man gesture as it also uses the legs spread. It communicates ownership and signals an informal and aggressive attitude.
If someone is having a serious discussion, it also communicate superiority and indifference. Straddling a Chair Barbara and Allan Pease say that the person straddling a chair wants to dominate the crotch display while at the same time using the back of the chair for protection.
Straddlers tend to be dominant types who will try to take control of others when they get bored with the conversation.
The heads are behind the head with the elbows pointing outward. It gives an air of superiority, like the person knows it all. Legs are usually in a Figure Four or Crotch Display. Show of Readiness Barbara and Allan Pease say that leaning forward with one hand on the knee, or both hands on the knees as it were the start of a race, signals that a person has reached a decision.
If it comes after decision making clusters chin stroking then the decision can often be positive. It also signal the desire to end the meeting and move out. Basically mirroring says, nonverbally, that you two are similar and share the same attitudes. When people refer to having a good vibe or that it feels right they are unknowingly referring to mirroring and synchronous behavior.
Usually the person with the highest status makes the first move and the others copy. Facial Feedback: Men feel awkward at the idea of using facial feedback while listening as it makes them feel effeminate. Women judge men who use facial feedback as caring, intelligent, interesting and attractive. Pease suggests never to speak quicker than the other person as that makes them feel pressured.
Do not mirror their negative signals though in order to create rapport.